you may recognize this little miss from the photos on the wedding colors post
she is one of my favorite paper dolls from my childhood
I found the whole box of them while helping my parents do some cleaning out last year
she could be a sweet little flower girl, don't you think?
In reality, I am leaning towards not having any child attendants or any bridesmaids and groomsmen for that matter. I feel a little "un-mainstream" but I am okay with that. There are just so many people I could pick. Has anyone else gone this route? Any suggestions on incorporating people you love in a different way than having a parade of people in matching clothes? Kelly
7 comments:
I saw a wedding one time where the minister spoke to the "audience" and told them of their importance as family and friends to support the couple through their life together. He then had the audience stand up and make a vow--similar to the couples vow, to stand beside the couple and support them through all of their life. It was really neat. (Charlie was the minister who did it in case you wanted to know that).
Mindy
Kelly--I hope you don't regret not having your dear friends/family standing next to you. That's one of my FAVORITE parts to watch on our dvd. I LOVE seeing everyone walk down they aisle and back and having them close by during the ceremony. (Our minister did the vow thing to the audience too, but we still had our closest friends/family near us).
I didn't make all the girls match. (let's face it NO DRESS can look good on more than a couple people max). I let each girl choose her own dress in the color black (it also helped that no one was forced to pay $x.xx, they could pay what they wanted).
Anyway, I know it's YOUR day, but I just don't want you to look back and regret missing the opporunity to honor your friends/family (My sister only had one attendant, not me or my sister, and it was hard to not get to play a special part in her big day. She's mentioned regretting that now.).
This is juse my opinion!!!
P.s. I like your wedding colors!!
Hey Kel,
Here's my two cents. It's your day, do whatever you want. Are you surprised that is my advice! Ha!
It's hard to narrow down the options sometimes and then there are other times that you don't want to hurt feelings b/c you can't have the whole world "in" your wedding. AND stage space may be an issue at your venue. I've been to weddings where there were only flower girls (I believe you were at that one too:) It was beautiful. The beauty or specialty of the wedding isn't contingent on the issue of attendants, I don't think. You are so unique and no one expects anything different from you! You're wonderful!
I've been in 14 weddings. I will tell you that I loved being a bridesmaid BUT I think that it would have been just as special to be sitting in the audience enjoying the ceremony. B/c the thing is the months and weeks before the wedding and every week that follows are the ones most important to have your friends standing beside you.
The only two regrets that I have of my wedding are 1. our pictures took too long after the ceremony and 2. One of my dearest, life long friends, who wasn't a bridesmaid couldn't make it to the wedding. I still am so sad that she missed it. Her child was sick, so she has a good reason but I remember her calling and just crying b/c she wasn't going to be able to be there and sit in the audience. It was SO sad BUT they day went on and we have a video (or will have one eventually)
If you wanted to honor special people in your life a good thing to do might be to have a "friends tea" the day before the wedding or even the morning of. Hope this helps.
Kelly, I did have bridesmaids (quite a few), but I couldn't have many of my closest friends -- I used mostly family and then my two closest friends from growing up. Most of my closest friends were what I called "honor attendants" who served at the reception or at the book signing, and I had them walk down with corsages, too, but I just asked them to wear something pastel so they each wore what they wanted, and the pictures with them were so colorful and fun. I wanted to honor them in a special way since if I were to have EVERYONE that I love and feel close to up there with me, it would have been WAAAAY too many (it probably already was).
I've seen a couple of other things that you might consider...one being a time of blessing where the minister opens it up to anyone in the audience who wants to share a blessing with you.
I've been to one wedding where they built an Ebenezer -- a pile of rocks of commemeration (sp?) of God's faithfulness and dedication of their marriage -- they had asked people who they loved and respected and who had had an impact on their lives to bring up a rock (they gave them to them ahead of time) and place it on the pile -- as a symbol. It was a little time-consuming, but it was neat.
Make your wedding YOURS -- we had a real variety of music, including a song sung by an African friend during our unity candle. I remember "Uncle Bud" (Dr. Ken Davis) saying that it was the most unique song selection that he had seen at a wedding (and that he liked it). It was OURS.
Have fun planning!!
Oh, and my honor attendants just sat on one of the rows behind right behind our families -- so it was like a seat of honor, too.
One of the most beautiful weddings that I've ever attended was also the simplest wedding I've ever attended. It was the bride and groom and a group of 15 family and friends in a garden. The chirping birds were all the music that was needed, the wise, words of Truth spoken by the minister were so worshipful. We stood around as the two exchanged their vows in a lovely setting. They had no "honor attendants" (certainly it was an honor to be there!), no traditional wedding party, no flower girls, but it was gorgeous!
I love your idea of perhaps departing a bit from the traditional when it comes to the wedding party. And, believe me, it simplifies things A LOT!!
Kelly, I think you should do what you want "un-mainstream" or not. It is your wedding (although, I was in a wedding last fall with over 46 members in the wedding party, they had to many friends and family to only have a few, it was fun and different).
Ideas: Keep your friends and family updated on information and ideas for the wedding.
Invite them to go shopping with you.
Get them to help with wedding favors, flowers, programs, decorating...
Have a small-in home luncheon in their honor
Invite them to the rehearsal dinner.
Let them know that you are glad they are around to join in all the fun.
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