Saturday, April 5, 2008

One Thing You Learned

We're getting married!

Of course you already knew that from the last post but it's quite fun to say!

So here's the thing. Anyone out there peruse Martha Stewart Weddings?

My favorite part of each issue is "One Thing I Learned . . . "

It's where real brides and grooms (mostly brides) write in and tell something that they really learned from their weddings. REAL LIFE HERE PEOPLE!

That is valuable, not what some wedding book tells you or all the people out there who want to sell you something and all that.

As I'm entering this wedding planning process I would love input from YOU my readers, lurkers, occasional drop-ins - whatever you'd like to call yourselves.

There will probably be specific topics from time to time or questions but first off I'd just love any comments you care to leave with general wedding planning advice garnered from your own personal experience in planning or attending weddings.

***now for the disclaimer: my dear friend Marla just today told me that what she was sharing with me was her opinion, one opinion, and that I would be getting lots of those so to just remember that it was an opinion and to do what I want. I like that. Please don't get your feelings hurt if you leave a comment and I do something different. Thanks! Kelly


The Chatty Housewife- said...

If you want a certain song for something, go for it no matter who tells you not to use it. If you don't use it, you may regret it later and wish you would have.

Britney K said...

That it doesn't have to be perfect. Which is funny since I'm a bit particular. And for me, the less stress and hub-bub the happier I was. Any crazy hiccup was time for Brad and I to loose control and focus on us instead of details. It just didn't matter when it came down to it. :) So there are MY 2 cents.

Kelli said...

Oh girl, here we go...
1) YOU are the BRIDE! This means that you are the boss and you get to have whatever you want for one day. It is awesome, take advantage of it without apology, and ENJOY it!!!

2) On our wedding day, after the pics with us separately, we cleared out the auditorium, except for Joe Dan and the photographer. We played my "walk down the aisle" music, and I walked down just to Joe Dan. It was truly the most magical moment of the day. The moment I saw him, I just wanted to talk and laugh and SHARE the moment and the whole day with him. We got to decompress a little and talk to the person we really wanted to talk to more than anyone: each other. It was truly amazing and one of my most precious memories from that day. A lot of people go for the tradition of waiting until "the moment" to see each other, but we created our own "moment" and it gifted us with the time to enjoy each other and share our feelings right then. If we'd waited until "the moment," we would have had to wait to talk and laugh and twirl, because we had to get married right after "the moment". You've got to do what's right for you, but this was a huge blessing for us. Have a GREAT time!

Marcella said...

The only real advice is to keep God the focus rather than the wedding or anything else. And remember that the wedding will be wonderful because you and Adrian will be joined as one. Can't wait to share in that day. Love you.

Amy said...

Congratulations Kelly - that is wonderful news! Marriage is fabulous - the past year and half that Robert and I have been married has truly been the best time of my life.

Here's my input:
1) Focus on the marriage, not the wedding day. That kept me from going too crazy. :)
2) Remember that it's his day too - it's not all about the bride.
3) Think about the weddings you've attended and what were your favorite touches, moments, etc. Honestly, no one will remember exactly what flowers you had in your bouquet, or the arrangements, etc. Don't stress about about the things that no one will remember unless it's something really meaningful or important to you or your fiance. I really wanted to have a particular kind of ribbon on my bouquet but the florist messed up, and I could have cared less on the wedding day - at that point, I just wanted to be married!
4) If you can find room in the budget, hire a "Day Of" wedding coordinator. That was some of the best money we spent. They took care of all of the details, saving me (and my mom, family, friends) from stressing out about what to do when the florist was late, there were no pins for corsages, calling vendors to make sure they were on the ball, etc. I never even knew about any of the hiccups until after I got back from the honeymoon. I was totally relaxed knowing that someone else was taking care of the details - all I had to do was walk down the aisle, say my vows, and celebrate!

Good luck!

Amy said...

Thanks for the nursery compliments! Now if the expected resident would arrive... :)

We got married in Austin, so I don't have any recommendations for the DFW area, but I found it was good to get someone who was just starting out - the rates were much more reasonable. Has anyone introduced you to The Knot website? They have local message boards, and I found most of my vendors through the Austin Knot board, so you might check the DFW board and see if anyone can give you recommendations, people to avoid, etc. Dessert buffet sounds yummy!

Anonymous said...

Keep communicating now more than ever with your Heavenly Father and sweet fiance'... It's very easy to let the wedding planning become a full-time job and neglect the One and the one who made this day possible...

I would recommend getting someone to video your rehearsal dinner, wedding and reception...

Also, I would write down something to say for the rehearsal dinner and/or reception. I loved every minute of my wedding day, but the only tiny regret I have is not saying thank you to all of my guests when offered the chance at the reception...

It will be lovely!
Jenny C.

Alison said...

Congratulations on your recent engagement! I saw that you mentioned Martha Stewart, and that reminded me of a couple of things I picked up from her magazine that I used in my wedding in the summer of 2006. One was to get an old typewriter (my mother-in-law had one) and allow guests to type messages to the couple on it at the reception. (I recommend not using a roll of fax paper, as I did---it was too thin!) Also, instead of having the crazy bouquet throw, I had the girls circle around me and hold hands, walking in a circle. I stood in the center of them and turned in a circle in the opposite direction, with my eyes closed. When the music stopped (we had a harpist---and I'm really happy we did), I opened my eyes and handed the bouquet to the girl in front of me.

Besides Martha tips :-), I'd say do what you want to make it your special day! We had our little nephew as the ring bearer---he was not quite 2. Everyone told me it was a bad idea, and he did end up running back down the aisle. But I wouldn't have had it any other way!

Also, I'm glad that we wrote our own vows and sang a congregational hymn and put other touches in the ceremony to make God the focus (I assume from other commenters that you're a Christian.) That made it extra meaningful, as the goal of our lives together is to honor God.

I do regret not being more organized at the reception. We had a lunch, and name place cards, but I wish I had asked a friend to be a hostess to help people get to their appropriate tables because it ended up being a little crazy for my poor friend who was my wedding planner.

Sorry...way more than one tip! Enjoy your special day!

P.S. I also did what Kelli did with the photographer before the wedding. Very special, and highly recommended.

Alissa said...

I know you like to be organized like me, so my tip involves that. . . Someone has already mentioned I loved and used this site alot. Erin also bought me the Everything Wedding Book. It was handy with lots of check lists for registeries, invitation stuff, etc.

Katie Sheedy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kinsey said...

i don't know you and i don't know how i came upon your blog, but i love sharing things about weddings. here are my top 2, i could go on forever :-)

1. as you walk down the aisle, look around at all of the family and friends around you. (i know this sounds obvious but SO many people told me they didn't think of that and in turn didn't do it...they just looked straight ahead) i have vivid images of seeing those special people sitting in the pews as i passed. BUT, as you get closer to the groom don't forget to look at him! i almost forgot that part ;-)

2. DEFINITELY get a videographer. i did not do this and it is my BIGGEST regret. i never got to see my bridesmaids walk down the aisle. i never got to see my dad escort my mom down the aisle, etc... you are at the back and miss all of that and i wish so bad that i could go back and watch it.

Anonymous said...

Kelly, When Jes and I got married I happened to find a book called "Sacred Threshold." It is a wedding planning book that focuses on the spiritual side of the wedding. You should check it out. Please email me. Our computer is going to the shop thanks to our storm last week, so I don't have your address, but I can check email on the internet.

Anonymous said...

Just a follow up--the full title of that book is "Sacred Threshold: rituals and readings for a wedding with spirit" written by Nelson and Witt. It looks like there is a reprint available with a newer title.

Another thing that I thought of is that in addition to our professional photographer we had an amatuer photographer as well--a family friend who just took pictures at the reception of everybody else. The professional is there to take pictures of you and the wedding party. The amatuer pictures that we had helped up see later everybody who was at the wedding and what they were doing at the reception.


TJ said...

Congratulations! I was out of town and missed your announcement and Meredith's all in one week!

God Bless! I say do what you want and don't let anyone tell you differently. I was probably the most calm of everyone on our wedding day because we were having the wedding we wanted.

Mandy said...

I would say "NO" to a receiving line!
Also, I liked what Kelli wrote. It is such a neat moment for the two of them to have and to just spend a little time in prayer together and to just take some deep breaths together. It seems to put the whole day into perspective.
One last thing, a very smart man once told me that all of your planning comes down to the day of the wedding and when you wake up that morning, it's time to just enjoy. Make sure you have no responsibilities that day and realize that something WILL go differently than you had planned. It's okay, it will all be a funny memory one day (like the humor in having had a receiving line!)